Think about all the conversations you’ve had in the last month with people you know. If you’re a social butterfly, that’s a lot of conversations. Take your time, I’ll wait. Now, how many of those discussions involved people wanting to be happier, trying to feel better or improve their current circumstances? I suspect it’s quite a few. This is because people get stuck in patterns and tend to gravitate toward wanting to improve, wanting to find a little sanity in their chaotic lives.
In this gravitational force called ‘searching for sanity’, we make agreements. Agreements with ourselves and with others. These can be healthy or unhealthy. To determine if it is an unhealthy agreement, we really need to look ahead at our desired outcome. If the agreement doesn’t line up with the desired outcome, we struggle.
If you want to be happier in your always fighting marriage, you can make an agreement to avoid or make an agreement to heal. Or, if you want to help others, you can make an agreement to sacrifice yourself or make an agreement to balance yourself so you can give more. Where we struggle is when we make agreements without truly thinking them through. If we take that extra step to look at the core reasons of our situation, we will be able to determine if they authentically line up with our desired outcomes. We will be able to make better agreements with ourselves.
Okay, back to these conversations you’ve had in the last month. How many of them involved YOU looking for sanity? If there are many, I suggest starting with getting a clear picture of yourself. Take two pieces of paper and write what you really want on one of them, and what you are actually doing on the other. Do they line up? Can you adjust or eliminate any of your agreements with yourself and others to get closer to the outcome you truly desire? A little self-reflection can go a long way!
Want another tip? Read the book The Four Agreements. I love this book! Love it so much I give it to all of my SAGE Method students. It’s simple. It gives you four agreements to follow:
Be impeccable with your word.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your best.
Read the book, try it on for a month. You might be surprised at how much your life changes.